Look Inwardly With Courage

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

"When they were alone, He explained all things to his disciples." Mark 4:34

It's been a few days since we completed the Summit fast. As I reflect on that time I spent alone with God, He continues to reveal more and more. Oh how I love the secret things of God. Had I not done the fast, I would have missed out on so much. God revealed to me things I did not want to take a look at. But when I stopped to listen, he gave me a gift. I love the passage that says, "A man can receive only what is given him from heaven." John 3:27. During the fast he showed me to look inwardly with courage and face the "thief" that tried to steal my identity at some point in my life.

During the fast, I had a dream that Michael and I were window shopping in a mall. I had picked up a pretty blouse and a beautiful amethyst ring in a ladies boutique. I showed them to Michael. He looked at me and said, "Go ahead and try them on, and then I'll buy them for you." Wow! A surprise gift, just because he loves me!

As I went into the bathroom to try them on, there was a woman standing there. She was very petite in frame, and long dark black straight hair. I didn't know her, and I couldn't see her face. I asked her to hold my items while I washed my hands. Here's the important part...as I motioned to hand her the items, the Lord spoke in my ear (and I heard it loud and clear). He said, "She will steal those if you give them to her." I remember thinking, "Really? Surely she won't." And so I handed them to her. She grabbed the items and ran. We chased her through the store and even yelled out the mall doors, but she was gone. Just like that.

So what does all this mean? At first I didn't quite know. But God has revealed it slowly to me the past few days. The gifts in the story represent unconditional love. God gives it to us, and my husband was wanting to give me a gift in the dream. The woman was the "thief." She tried to take what was mine. Let me rephrase that...I "gave" her what was mine. Even when God warned me NOT to hand the items over to her, I did it anyway.

You see, the small framed woman was a thief and she represented "envy" for me as well. This woman was a reflection of who I've always wanted to be. A small boned, tiny, size 4 woman. Why on earth would I want to be something I am not? I believe in my heart of hearts it is due to word curses spoken over me. God brought 2 instances to mind that I had not forgiven. One had to do with my mom, and the other an old boyfriend. So I looked inwardly, and prayed against those words. The truth was that I had stored those word curses somewhere in my mind, body and spirit. Thankfully we don't have to live with lies that were once spoken over us. The bible tells us: "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32.

Then just as God would have it, the very next day I read in the word, "My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place." Psalm 139:15. I recognized that God made me to be me!

God is so good, and the dream has a good ending. I chased down the thief, pinned her up against the wall, stripped the items away from her and said to her, "Give me back what is rightfully mine." And today I can say that I am seeing myself in a new light.

I want to motivate you to look inwardly with courage and be free. Life is too short! As Oswald Chambers once said, "It is slow work-- so slow that it takes God all of time and eternity to make a man or woman conform to His purpose."

Be blessed! Christina